Avenger/MadHatter X Reader

 Avengers/MadHatter X Reader



    'If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.
     Nothing would be as it is, because everything would be what it isn't.
     And contrary wise, what it is, it wouldn't be,
     And what it wouldn't be, It would.
     You see?,


It was a normal weekend at stark tower, and the Avengers where bored. Well, one avenger at least.
Clint and Natasha where out on a mission as usual, Bruce was in his lab, tinkering away, Steve was in the gym, and Thor was in Asgard dealing with his brother, Loki.
This left Tony Stark, billionaire, playboy, etc, VERY bored.

So far he'd adjusted his suit, gotten drunk, sobered up, watched tv, planed pranks on the others, played video games, and now he'd run out of things to do. He sat in the living room, draped over the sofa, with his face buried in a pillow. As if to make things worse, his stomach let out a loud growl.
He huffed in annoyance.

"Jarvis?"

"Yes sir?" inquired a sophisticated robotic voice.

"Order shawarma." he ordered, as he dragged himself over to the bar for another drink.

"Yes sir."

Tony swirled his drink miserably. Why was he the only one who was bored? He downed his drink in one and stood up. He'd go see Bruce. Surely his science bro would have something he could do?

And so it was that at 2.30 p.m, a very bored Tony Stark wandered into Bruce's lab.

...

And was thrown out not five minutes later.

Tony stomped back into the living room just as Jarvis informed him that the delivery guy had arrived. He took the lift down, and then back up with his food, and by that time he was starving.

He was just about to take his first bite, when he was interrupted by a rhythmic tapping coming from one of the huge windows. Tony sighed in an irritable manner, but eventually got up to go investigate the noise. He wandered over to the window and looked out over the city. Nothing strange there. He was just about to go back to his shawarma, which looked like it was calling him, when another tap, much louder and more demanding sounded from the glass. Tony whipped around so fast he tripped over and fell hard on his butt with a girlish squeak. He stared up at the cause of the tapping, and now his discomfort.

A black raven was hovering at head hight on the other side of the glass, flapping its wings franticly. That was strange in itself, but it didn't stop there. Because the raven was carrying an envelope in its beak. The bird and the man stared at each other.

'How absurd has my life become,' thought Tony ' that I'm having a staring contest with a bird?'

After two minutes of staring, he blinked.

"Jarvis, open that window." a second later the glass window panel slid back.

The raven immediately fluttered into Stark's living room, and landed on the table. It placed the letter on the coffee table, and after a moments consideration, began eating Tony's shawarma. The billionaire scrambled of his butt and dashed at the raven.

"Shoooooo!! Shoo!" he yelled, flapping his arms wildly.

The raven stared at him, with an unimpressed expression, then proceeded to ignore him and  resume eating the shawarma. Only then did Tony realise the raven had pink eyes. PINK!?!
Could this day get any weirder?

Defeated, Tony picked up the letter and examined it.

It was a simple white envelope with "Avengers" written across the front in elegant sloping hand writing, and sealed at the back with red wax. Tony broke the wax and shook out a note.

It was a plane piece of paper card, with a top hat on it. Puzzled, Tony turned it over. On the other side, written in the same slanted hand writing was a message.

  "Dear Avengers,

You are formally invited to the Mad Hatter's Tea Party.
If you decide to attend, please inform the messenger."

Tony glared at the raven, who ignored him, before reading on

"If you choose to come, I will discuss with you important matters concerning the safety of you're world.

Their will also be tea.

Yours sincerely,
        Hatter.    "


Their was a circular tea stain on the right corner, and the several drops across the page indicated that whoever wrote it was drinking tea at the time.

Tony stared at the letter in his hands. This had to be a joke. Who doesn't know the Mad Hatter? Or Alice in Wonderland? But nobody ever said it was REAL!! But.... The pink eyed raven?... No.... It was probably just a unique bird... Or maybe it had an accident at birth... Yeah... That was probably it... But still...

Tony mentally slapped himself. 'Get a grip! Of course it's not real!'

While Tony was debating the nature of reality, the pink eyed raven watched him closely.

"NEVERMORE!!"  Screeched the bird

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" Screeched Tony, reeling backward in shock and tripping over the sofa, landing in a tangled heap behind it.

After disentangling himself, he peered cautiously over the back of the sofa. Their was no sign of the raven. Tony sighed in relief. He wandered back over to where he'd dropped the note, grumbling to himself.

"Stupid bird, stupid note.... Stupid Hatter." not a second after that last syllable had left his lips, he was immediately set upon by an infuriated raven.

It dive bombed his styled hair, clawing and pecking.

"OWW!!"

"CAWW!!

"OWW!! LEAVE...OWW!... ME ...OWW! ...ALONE!!!"

"CAWW!! KAWW!!"

"OWW!!"

"CAWW!! Caw!!"

"JARVIS DO SOMETHING!!" Yelled Tony, who was now running around the room trying in vain to protect his head, and letting out a squeak or yell each time the raven's talons found their mark.

It was at precisely this moment that Bruce walked in to find out what all the racket was about. He was immediately run over by the terrified billionaire, both of them falling in a tangled heap on the floor. The raven flew back to the sofa and perched there, cawing in what sounded like laughter.

Tony scrambled off Bruce, his hair messed up, and his AC/DC T-shirt littered with small talon marks, along with several small cuts on his face and arms.

Bruce stood up, ran a hand through his mussed up hair, straightened his glasses, brushed himself down, took a deep breath, and proceeded to chew out the billionaire who ran him over.

"WHAT THE HELL STARK?!? Are you trying to get me killed? Or is this another trick to get the other guy mad? I am so!....... Tony?..... Are you listening?... Where are you going?... And... Why is there a raven on the couch?"

Tony, who had retrieved the letter, whilst keeping his distance from said raven, was no longer paying attention. He walked back to Bruce and shoved the letter into his hand.

"What's this?"

"Just read it." said Tony, without looking away from the demon bird.

Bruce skimmed over the invitation, taking on the signature, and writing.

"Who's the messenger?"

Tony pointed an accusatory finger at the pink eyed raven perched on the back of the sofa.

"Fascinating..." murmured Bruce, walking over to the sofa.

"NO!! Don't go near it Bruce! It's evil!" warned Tony.

Bruce completely ignored him and stood by the sofa. He watched the raven, and the raven watched him.

"Curious."

"NEVERMORE!!" screeched the bird, making both men jump at the sudden outburst.

"It can talk!"

"Way to go Bruce, you solved the mystery!" said Tony sarcastically. Bruce flipped him the bird, before going back to studying the raven.

"Tony, go get Steve." for once the billionaire didn't question orders, and hurried out of the room, glad of an excuse to escape the bully bird.

"Now," said Bruce, turning back to the raven " are you the messenger?"

The raven nodded.

"Do you come from Wonderland?"

Again, the raven nodded.

"Is the Hatter real?"

Another nod.

"Ok, finally... Is our world in danger." The bird stared hard at him, before nodding solemnly.

Bruce held out his arm, and the raven hopped onto it. He took the raven across the room to one of Tony's many scanner table thingies ( no idea what they're called ).

He set the raven down on the scanner and a bar popped out of the side and began running its censor beam up and down the bird. (Lol the raven got censored! #shot#)

Bruce waited patiently for the computer to finish. After a few seconds, a red error message appeared on the screen.


# ERROR: no material found on scanner.
                  Please place the object you wish to scan on the scanner. #

It took all Bruce's self control not to brake it. After all, who doesn't hate computer errors.

According to the computer, the raven didn't exist.

"Jarvis?"

"Yes Dr. Banner?" the scientist pointed at the raven.

"Do you see this raven?" their was a moments silence from the A.I

"No. Rather, there is a total lack of anything, in the shape of a bird, standing on the scanner. No particles, no atoms, the only thing similar on records is a black hole, sir."  

The A.I pulled up a screen on the table tablet thingy. It showed all particles as red dots, and sure enough their was a raven shaped lack of space, sitting on the scanner.

Just to make sure, Bruce reached out and poked the raven. It felt VERY real. The raven flapped its wings in annoyance. It obviously didn't like being poked.

This was now serious. This raven shouldn't, no... Couldn't, exist! It's very presence should shatter the fabric of reality. So why weren't they all dead?

And if the bird was real... Could its master be as well? Bruce hadn't believed in Fairy tales since he was a little kid, and even now, after all this evidence, he still had his doubts.

His train of thought derailed when Stark burst into the room, dragging a very confused Steve with him. They all sat down, Tony and Bruce on the sofa, and Steve in one of the armchairs, as the two scientists proceeded to explain the situation. When the raven was mentioned, it flew over and perched on the coffee table again, next to the letter.

After several heated arguments, they split up. Bruce to try and send a message to Asgard to try and get the attention of Thor and Loki.
( also part of the avengers, though Tony still doesn't trust him)

Steve went to give director Fury a call, to get Natasha and Clint back.

And Tony? He went to get another drink. Can you blame him? He did get bullied by a bird.


                          ~~ Timeskip, into the TARDIS!!!~~


The Avengers where now all assembled in the conference room. Nat and Clint had been withdrawn from their mission, somehow, and Bruce had managed to get ahold of Thor and Loki. Finally, after many, many, MANY interruptions, Bruce and Tony had brought the others up to speed. The letter had been passed round, along with a copy of the book, and a brief explanation of the story was given to the two confused gods.

"So, let me get this straight." said Natasha "You brought us all the way here, because this bird, who technically doesn't exist," she pointed an accusatory finger at the offending bird, who was sitting in the middle of the table next to the letter. "Brought us a letter from a made up character straight out of a fairy tale?" she finished incredulously.

The Avengers ,and Loki, sat in silence. Having Natasha sum it all up like that made them all realise just how absurd their situation really was.

"Well... When you say it like that..." said Tony sheepishly. Steve and Bruce double face palm, because one face palm just wouldn't cut it.

"What?!" demanded Tony

The impending argument was interrupted by Loki, who'd finally decided to speak up.

"Why don't you just accept the invitation?" They all stared at him. He merely shrugged.

" If the letter if false, what do you lose?"

...

"He's got a point." said Clint.

Loki smirked, leaning back in his chair. "Of course I do." he stated smugly.

"Ok then reindeer games, but if we die, I'm giving you hell in the afterlife." Loki's smirk turned into a sneer at Stark's awful nickname.

"I've always wanted to say this... All in favour of going to Wonderland?" Tony raised his hand, along with Bruce, Steve, and Thor.

After a few seconds, Natasha and Clint begrudgingly raised their hands too. The whole table then stared at Loki.

"What? You can't seriously be expecting me to go with you."

"You said it yourself reindeer games, what do you have to lose?" Loki scowled at the billionaire, then sighed.

"Very well. I will go, if only for the opportunity to see you get hurt if things go south."

Bruce stood up and gestured to the raven.

"Ok, so we're all agreed. Messenger?" the raven nodded

"NEVERMORE!!!" Squawked the raven, making everyone jump.

The raven grabbed the letter it it's beak, and with a flap of its wings took off. It began flying in circles above their heads. Faster and faster it flew. Round and round. A wind pitched up in the room, and the bird was now the centre of a mini tornado. Then, just as soon as it had come, the wind disappeared, and the raven dropped a large leather bound book on the table.

The Avengers all stared at the book. It was thick, caked in dust, and in swirly gold letters across its cover were the words.

                " The Hatters Tea Party "  

Before any of them could say a word, the book creaked open of its own accord, and fell open on a blank page. The raven, who'd been hovering above it, folded its wings and dived straight for the book. As it hit the blank pages, it sank straight through them with one final

"CAWW!!"  

As the avengers watched on, the pages of the book began detaching themselves from the cover and flying around the room. The wind came back, and lifted the avengers off their seats and spun them around the room, along with the pages of the book.

"DAMN IT LOKI!!" squealed Tony as he whizzed past.

Steve was doing what looked like breaststroke, Thor was still clinging desperately to his chair, his knuckles white with determination. Natasha and Clint had some degree of control, not much, but at least they weren't flailing around like Tony. Bruce was trying to grab onto something, and Loki... Loki was floating calmly around the room. He was experienced in magic, and knew perfectly well that you couldn't fight it. Especially magic as powerful as this.  

They began to spiral closer to the book, until a still flailing Tony Stark was dragged into it. He was quickly followed by Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Thor, Steve, and finally, Loki.

The pages flew back into the book, and the cover snapped shut. The golden letters shimmered for a few seconds, then dimmed.

The Mad Hatter Awaits Them In Wonderland......